Empower Newsletter – December 2021

Focusing on the negative can be helpful!

 

Some people focus on the negatives in order to help them to move forward where as others focus on the positives.  So in this example, if you focus on the positives, you would run toward something and if you focus on the negatives, you would run away.

 

It may surprise you to know that most people use negatives in order to make them do something.

 

When I first heard this concept I immediately thought for sure that I focus on the positives because I’m such a positive person.  But no, that is not the case.  My way of moving on from something is to look at the negatives.

 

I wonder if you are someone who focuses on the positive or negative to make you move forward?

 

If you are not sure, here are a few questions to help you work it out.

 

1. To stop a bad habit what ultimately makes you stop, thinking about all the benefits you will gain once you stop or thinking about all the consequences if you don’t stop?

 

For example, when you gave up a bad habit in the past like smoking, did you ultimately give it up because you wanted clean lungs, fresh breathe, clean teeth, to become fitter and to feel healthier or did you give it up because it was costing you too much, you couldn’t walk up stairs without puffing, you felt anti-social, your teeth were discolouring, your voice was becoming husky, health reasons or it was aging you prematurely?

 

2. When you make a decision about something are you more inclined to move toward the things you want or move away from the things you don’t want?

 

For example, when you have ended a relationship in the past did you decide to do it because you were looking at all the things that you wanted in a partner that you weren’t getting in your current relationship, did you think about how good it would feel to ultimately be in a relationship that made you feel a certain way, the things it would give you and the happiness you would feel or did you want to get away from certain behaviours and how they made you feel, were you sick of feeling sad, unloved or disrespected?

 

However you answered the question is fine.  There is no right or wrong answer here, there is only what we do.  The point I am making here is that by consciously knowing how you make decisions brings with it clarity that allows you to understand what is happening.

 

By focusing on what makes you ultimately move past whatever is holding you back, whether that is by looking at all the positives you will gain or all the negatives you will leave behind, will free you to be able to move forward quicker and easier.

 

Negativity Bias

Human beings brains are hardwired to negativity because we are wired to survive.  It’s more natural for us to expect the worst, catastrophise, be cautious and slow to change. If the default position is to survive, this means worrying about the what-ifs.

 

Psychological research suggests that the negative bias influences motivation to complete a task. People have less motivation when an incentive is framed as a means to gain something than when the same incentive will help them avoid the loss of something.

 

This can play a role in your motivation to pursue a goal. Rather than focusing on what you will gain if you keep working toward something, you’re more likely to dwell on what you might have to give up in order to achieve that goal.

 

~ www.verywellmind.com ~

Quotes of the Month

 

“Once we acknowledge to ourselves that we’re unhappy or dissatisfied with something in which we find ourselves.  Negativity may be your path to getting to a happier place.”

 

“Being positive all of the time means that there is no critical analysis taking place or taking stock of one’s current situation.”

 

~ Helen Dillon, Life and Careers Coach ~

 

‘When I’m ready to move away from something in my life I start focusing on all the negatives.’

 

 

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