How to use PAIN to your advantage!
It’s human nature to do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure? That’s right, we will do more to avoid something we perceive as painful then we will do to gain pleasure from doing it. When I first heard this principle, I thought it sounded ridiculous. I want things in my life that give me pleasure! That degree will give me pleasure right; it will get me the job, promotion or the pay rise I want! It sure will, although if the perceived pain such as studying, essays, exams and time associated with the degree is greater than the pain of not getting the promotion or the pay rise, I will do more to avoid what I perceive as more painful. In this case finishing the degree! This principle is the same in every area of our lives. Anything you have not done is because you perceive more pain around doing it.
Use the Pain v’s Pleasure principle to get what you want!
Doing more to avoid pain than to feel pleasure is an inbuilt survival mechanism to avoid things that we know will cause us pain. We don’t have to think about it, we just know it will be painful. For example, we know that when we end a relationship, it will be painful. To a lot of people the word ‘diet’ congers up all sorts of pain, like missing out on their favourite food or having to exercise, less time to relax, etc. These aren’t necessarily conscious thoughts; in fact it is usually the opposite. They are just things we know will be painful based on past experiences.
So if we create more pain around not doing what we want, it makes sense that we will avoid doing what we perceive has the greatest pain. In other words, it will propel us toward getting what we really want. For example, if you want to be a particular size, create more pain around not being that size rather than creating pain around what is involved with losing the weight.
Before I explain how to create more pain around the old unwanted behaviour, ask yourself what the pain is you associate with doing it. That is, the reason you haven’t done it yet. It could be as simple as ‘the time it takes’ or ‘the loss of something’ because we see it as painful if something is taken away from us.
Is the thought of losing something painful to you?
Now you will have a new awareness around what you were associating the pain to if you were to do it! The next step is to ask yourself what pleasure you get from not following through. You may have got pleasure from eating or more time by not following through. As an example, if you were on a diet you may have eaten a chocolate biscuit. You may say that eating the chocolate biscuit doesn’t bring you pleasure, it makes you feel like crap! What is more real in the moment though, the pain of being fat or the pleasure of eating the chocolate biscuit?
So now it’s time to create so much more pain around not getting what you want and to make you want to avoid it. One of the most effective ways to do this is to ask yourself the following questions.
In one years’ time if nothing changes: -
what will be happening in my life?
what will be happening with my health?
what sorts of things will I be telling myself?
what will my relationships with others and more importantly, myself be like?
what will it cost me in other areas of my life?
what will I be missing out on?
what will be happening emotionally and financially?
how will I be feeling?
In two years’ time if nothing changes: -
Ask yourself the same questions again
In five years’ time if nothing changes: -
Ask yourself the same questions again
Now how are you feeling? I have no doubt you are keen to avoid the pain you just created and are feeling very motivated to get on with doing what it is you want. If not, keep going through the questions above until you have found enough pain to make you want to avoid it.
The trick is to continually create more pain around the undesired behaviour that is going to stop you getting what you ultimately want. This will then propel you to get what you want.
Take control now! Use pain and pleasure to control your decisions, don’t let pain and pleasure control you.
Copyright Di Browne - 24 January 2013
January 24, 2013 2:05 pm 
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