Empower Newsletter – May 2013
| Welcome to the May edition of the Empower Newsletter. This month the focus is on ‘listening’ and how it can dramatically change your outcomes. |
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Did you know? |
‘listening generates respect!’
I find it really fascinating that we sometimes feel the need to argue our view to the point that it is detrimental to relationships.
There are many different reasons why we feel the need to express our opinions and beliefs. It could be as simple as just trying to get the other person to understand; it could be a habit, always defending our position; it could be a belief that if they are right, then we must be wrong; and/or it could also give us the illusion that we have won.
It doesn’t mean that we are right or wrong just because we have a different view to someone else. It also doesn’t mean that we have won just because we have argued our position. We can all justify (and we do), how we are right and they are wrong! Have you ever stopped and wondered what you are doing when you argue a point with someone? You are actually telling them that they are wrong and their opinion is wrong. You are backing them into a corner, and when we are backed into a corner we feel the need to defend ourselves.
What would happen if we occasionally didn’t feel the need to argue our point, especially with a loved one? Would it mean we are weak and wrong? No, it’s totally the opposite. Not having to defend our position shows a great sense of self-worth for ourselves and respect for the other person. You see when we try to convince someone why we are right (and they are not) we are actually shooting them down and in turn making them feel lesser then or not good enough, and I am sure the intention is not to alienate them or to make them feel bad.
The best way for everyone to ultimately get what they want is to seek out the other person’s point of view by listening. If you don’t listen, chances are he or she won’t. Let them have their say without you defending your position. Ask them “Why do you think that’s true.” Not with a hidden agenda, to defend your position, or to correct them, but to let them have the satisfaction of being right. You never know, you may even learn something new or expand your view. By seeking first to understand, you are putting your love and respect for the person to whom you are speaking above your need to be right. Afterward they may even be open to listen to your view.
Arguing alienates, listening generates respect! Give it a go; I would love to hear what happens.
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Affirmation Corner |
‘Listening is the key to understanding.’
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Events Schedule |
Chicks in the City
Wed 8/05/2013 at 6.30pm
The next gathering for Chicks in the City will be Wednesday 8th May 2013.
Chicks in the City usually meet the third Wednesday of the month (second Wednesday this month) from 6.30pm to 8.00pm at Ryde Eastwood Leagues Club, 117 Ryedale Road, West Ryde in the lounge area next to the Bristo.
Chicks in the City is a group for women to connect. Basically it’s all about hanging out with women, meeting new friends, socialising, finding like-minded women to chat to or even making long lasting friendships.
All women are welcome and it’s free.
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Something to Ponder |
“Effective listeners remember that “words have no meaning – people have meaning.” And although our experiences, knowledge and attitudes differ, we often misinterpret each other’s messages while under the illusion that a common understanding has been achieved.”
~ Larry Barker ~
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Quote of the Month |
“One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening.”
~ Franklin P. Jones ~
Written by Di Browne, Coach to Empower
Newsletters | Di | 
April 30, 2013 12:44 pm
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