Empower Newsletter – October 2015
Welcome to the October 2015 edition of the Empower Newsletter. This month the focus is a reminder on how our behaviour impacts children.
Did you know?
‘behaviours can be chosen’
Are you loving your partner well? Your children are noticing how you treat each other. You are teaching your children how to treat their partner and you are teaching them what they should expect from their partner!
We all know that our children, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren, pupils are like sponges constantly learning from us and their surroundings but sometimes we forget that young ones around us, are watching and absorbing in our behaviours.
It’s no good telling them what you expect from them, they learn by mimicking or as we call it in the coaching world, modelling.
If you think about how you do everyday things such as mashing potatoes, unless you made a conscious decision to do it a different way, you probably unconsciously do it the same way your parents did it. For example, there are lots of ways to mash potatoes such as using a fork, masher, beater; adding butter, cream, milk, etc.
So if you think about it, there must be millions of things we do without thinking about it or even deciding that that is how we will do it.
It is the same with behaviour! We grew up seeing and watching how our parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, teachers, etc., did things and that’s how we unconsciously knew how to do it, again unless we consciously decided to do it a different way. An example of this is how our parents dealt with anger or stress, maybe they screamed or yelled a lot.
These unconscious behaviours are fine unless they don’t serve, support or nurture us in some way.
If our young ones are modelling our behaviours why not allow them to model great behaviours that will serve them in their lives. There are always different ways to act!
To change a limiting behaviour it could be as simple as acknowledging the behaviour and then deciding what behaviour you will replace it with. If you cannot think of different way, it may help if you think of someone you know that behaves in a way that you would like to behave and then model them. In respect of that particular behaviour, do what they do, think what they think and say what they say! With conscious thought and practice it will become a new way to behave and soon you will have the same results they have.
If children were to adopt your behaviours do you think they would serve, support or nurture them?
Definition
Behaviour
a) observable activity in a human or animal.
b) the aggregate of responses to internal and external stimuli.
c) a stereotyped, species-specific activity, as a courtship dance or startle reflex.
Something to Ponder
“Impressions pour into us and we store them in our minds; but we ourselves remain apart from them as a vase keeps separate from the water it contains. Instead, the child undergoes a transformation. Impressions do not merely enter the mind; they form it. They incarnate themselves in him… We have named this type of mentality The Absorbent Mind.”
~ The Absorbent Mind ~
Quotes of the Month
“If there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.”
~ Carl Jung ~
“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”
~ James Baldwin ~
Affirmation Corner
‘I treat my partner in a way I would like my children to treat and be treated by their partner.’
Newsletters | Di | 
September 30, 2015 3:49 pm
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