Empower Newsletter – July 2021

It’s about taking full responsibility!

 

One of my clients felt so victimised by her employer that her stress level was at a point that she had submitted a workers compensation claim.

 

Upon further questioning during a coaching session, it was revealed that this sort of thing had happened to her at least twice before.  The circumstances were different but the outcomes were the same.

 

Do you find yourself going through situations in your life that keep ending the same way for you?

 

Have you ever wondered why the same thing keeps happening?  For example, do you find that you have trouble holding on to relationships, feel betrayed or treated poorly by people in general or maybe you have been continually let down and feel that you can’t trust people.

 

The first step is to accept that all situations that involve us are ‘all about us’.  There isn’t anything or anyone else to blame and it isn’t anyone else’s problem, it is ours!  The answer starts with taking responsibility and being accountable for ourselves and our actions.  Everything that happens to us is our responsibility.

 

For example, we need to stop blaming anything outside of ourselves, like situations we find ourselves in, things that have happened to us, or other people’s words or actions.  It starts and ends with us and we need to take responsibility for our outcomes.

 

A good analogy for this is that you are in control of yourself just like a bus driver is in control of the bus.  The bus driver controls the bus and you control ‘you’.  That is, your actions, reactions, words and thoughts.  Remember every action causes a reaction, good and bad.  What results are you getting from your actions?

 

By letting other people make us feel happy, sad or any emotion at all, we are giving them the driver’s seat.  We are allowing them to control how we feel.  It’s all about taking responsibility for choosing how you feel.  Who is driving your bus?

 

Once you have accepted ownership by taking responsibility, the next step is to look at what you are doing, thinking, saying or even not doing, thinking or saying over a period of time that may be creating these situations.

 

Maybe start by changing one of the things you are doing or not doing until it becomes a habit or a way of being, thinking or doing.  Then change something else that may also be contributing to your outcome until you start to notice that you are now getting the outcome you desire.

 

For my client the first thing she changed was to start turning up on time, even early, for work every day.  It was a small thing but it made a big difference.

 

It’s time to start taking responsibility for your outcomes so that you have the power and control to start creating the desired outcomes you want.

 

Taking responsibility

 

Is acknowledging and accepting the choices you have made, the actions you have taken, and the results they have led to.

 

 

Responsibility is something powerful and empowering. As the language suggests, it is a ‘response ability’: the ability to choose our response in every moment to all that is going on around us.  A choosing that allows us to claim ownership of the circumstances of our lives, and thereby, to contribute to making them better.

 

In the world of blame, we miss this point.  It seems far easier to tally up our perception of other people’s behaviour into columns of right, wrong, good and bad, judging and criticizing them all the way to the bank.

 

Yet by distancing ourselves from our own potential role in problems, we also disregard the possibility of our place in the solutions, as well as the joy and affinity that come from problem solving effectively.

 

Owning that you might have had a hand in creating what’s happening in the world around you doesn’t make you a sucker.  Nor does it mean that you’re to blame for everything that’s going on.

 

Rather, it means that you’re mature enough to realise that only by claiming responsibility for your life can you live it in a way that both empowers you and brings you closer to others.

 

~ Jennifer Hamady ~

 

 

“If you keep blaming something or someone for your problems, you will never learn why problems come your way”.

~ Unknown ~

 

‘I take responsibility for my outcomes.’

 

 

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