Empower Newsletter – January 2018

‘how to find & hang onto the love of your life’

 

Have you set the intention for finding the right partner for you?  Not just anybody, somebody who will compliment your life.  I believe that knowing what qualities you want in a partner is a must.  If you are consciously aware of what you want at least you will know what you are actually looking for.

 

Making a list is a good place to start because you have to think about what qualities you want in a partner.  Make sure the list is specific because you WILL get exactly what you want.  It’s like going to a restaurant and placing this order with the waiter, “I’ll have a meat dish with a side of vegetables,” you’re leaving yourself wide open to being served cow tongue with a side of creamed spinach, and you probably won’t be happy with what you get.

 

Also make sure your list is full of qualities you do want as opposed to ones you don’t want.  For example if you want a partner that isn’t selfish or a liar you would put considerate and truthful on your list.

 

Once you have found the love of your life it doesn’t stop there, the next step is to hang on to them.

 

Relationships take work they don’t just take care of themselves, they require constant effort and need to be worked on every day.

 

One question you can ask your partner to help keep you on track is ‘How do you know that I love you?’

 

They may answer, when you do a particular thing like cooking for them or maybe it is telling them how good they are.  It might be when you spend time with them or buy them something, or it could just be that little physical touch of affection when they walk past.

 

Whatever it is, it’s got to be how they feel loved by you not how you feel loved.  It’s human nature that we would do, say and show people that we love the same way as we feel loved but it doesn’t work that way. How they feel loved is quite often different than what needs to happen to make us feel loved.

 

Once you’ve established what you can do every day to make your partner feel loved, then you can tell them how you know that they love you!

 

Actively

1.     engaged in action

2.     being in a state of existence, progress, or motion

3.     involving physical effort and action

4.     having the power of quick motion

 

 

Did you know that behavioural-emotional change will encourage your partner to do the same?

 

1.     Think patterns not people – don’t make it personal. It’s something they do not who they are.

2.     Think how not what.

3.     Be responsible with your emotions. You need to fix your own problems.

4.     Think about problems as bad solutions. Eg “Help me understand why you leave your socks on the floor.”

5.     Think present not past.

6.     Think behaviour not emotion.

7.     Think about what you can do to fix the problem, not what you want the other person to do.

 

 

“The starting point of all achievement is desire.”

~ Napoleon Hill ~

 

‘My actions get me closer to what I ultimately want.’

 

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